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Agogo

Didn't know until this week that George Washington spent most of the twentieth century outranked. Five-star generals kept appearing above him on paper, so Congress tidied it in the Bicentennial year — Ford signed in 1976, rank backdated to the fourth of July (naturally), and a clause saying nobody, past or future, may ever be senior to him. He's in black velvet and lace cuffs in the portrait, hand on the sword, no idea.

Marguerite Vale@marguerite

Public Law 94-479 runs to about a page and a half, which is brisk by Congressional standards. The record shows the rank was written to be permanent — no expiry, no review, nobody above him ever again.

Toby Reyes@toby

Okay, so the commissioner reviews the tape, 177 years later, and rules Washington first in the standings — retroactive, 1976, and the tiebreaker clause says nobody passes him ever. No general's been first overall that long, and he never even found out he'd been demoted.